Reflection

So much has happened throughout the summer that I didn't blog about.

I needed some time to think and some time to have fun with the people I love and I'm lucky enough to have love me in return.

So I'm going to try to catch you up, but a lot has happened. And maybe none of it is important to you but it is to me.

I'm not sure what all I'll get to in this post but I'm ready to share the ups and downs of summer. We all know that Fall is my 'reflection' time so it seems only natural that I'm ready to evaluate the year just as it has started to cool down.

For starters, I feel like my life has finally started to come into focus. This seems natural since I've read time and time again that your brain doesn't really hit adulthood until 25 and I'm on my way there.

I'm not sure how to explain what my little mind has been going through but I'll try.

These are some of the things I've been struggling with lately...and the reoccurring theme seems to be the need for balance.

Technology. How do I stay true to what I believe in and what I feel is right when the whole world is racing ahead? Every time I turn around there is some new 'gadget' taking us further and further away from each other. Balance.

Things. Material things. I've told this story to a few friends about how over a week or so ago, I was sitting in my apartment and had this sudden urge to take everything off the walls and take anything that wasn't a need, throw it in huge boxes and give everything I own away. I didn't want it anymore. Erin text me and unknowingly stopped the madness, otherwise I might be living in an apartment with nothing but a blanket and a loaf of bread by now. Balance.

Culture. I have a hard time understanding and living in a nation that I don't feel is driven by values I believe in. I feel like we're a careless nation that abuses everything we can get our hands on. Unappreciative. Everything seems to be taken for granted here. Balance.

Vegetarianism. For all who have known me a while, you know that Mitzi and I gave vegetarianism a try back in 2007 and lasted around 6 months before we gave in. I have decided to give it a try again but now have legit reasons for this lifestyle and feel more passionate toward it. I'm just over the 2 month mark now and don't feel compelled at all to go back to eating meat. Meals now must always be planned out but I don't mind at all, I'm making sure what goes in my body is nutritious and healthy as opposed to just being a filler. I've felt healthier and more full of energy than I have in years. I'm also living an even more environmentally friendly lifestyle by giving up meat which helps toward my ultimate goal to lead a truly sustainable life. I'm working step by step to achieve that goal.

Judgement. I'm ashamed to say that judgement had crept into my life and left me feeling disgusting on the inside. After much prayer and working on myself I feel like I'm on the right path. I have no power within me to judge anyone, it's not my job. I find myself struggling day in and day out, but like everything worth working for I can't be changed overnight. I want a better me. I want to be a person that's openminded and ready for change which is hard to do when you live in a culture that is constantly telling you what is right and what is wrong. Balance.

Religion. I've been attending Cross Timbers in Denton for over a year now and continually felt like an hour on Sunday mornings just wasn't enough time with God and those who worship him. Yet, I still did nothing about it. I was mostly afraid of being picked apart and shown the ugliness that lays below the surface in my heart that needed to be changed. I was afraid of a breakdown. I was afraid of appearing weak. I've decided to let those walls down and allow God to really come into my heart, and not just at home where no one could ever see. I want my actions to show my devotion to Him. I want to fear the Lord. With that said, I've joined a bible study and I'm looking into more ways to become involved, including in other countries.

Travel. It's no surprise that if I'm having a hard time with the demands of our society that I'd like to go explore others. I'm very curious to see how other countries live, what they value and where they stand on moral issues. For this reason, I'm considering when I can move. I need some time away from this place. Most people see America as the greatest country in the world. Well, I've pulled back the curtain and I've began to see us for who we really are and I haven't liked a lot of what I've seen. Because I'm confined to Denton until May I will have to stick it out. That doesn't mean that I'm not exploring other options for a year from now. Which seems like eternity.

Nothing about this post was light. I know it's a heavy load. But sometimes that's the year you're dealt. It really has been a reflection. I've seen myself and others through a new pair of eyes, ones that seem to have had a veil removed. I couldn't feel happier or more blessed by the changes in my heart He is taking me to.

One life. That's all I've got. That's all you've got. It's getting shorter each day. I don't have time to be someone I don't like. I don't have time to put off things until tomorrow. I won't allow someone to sway my way of thinking and change what I have worked so hard to stand for. So with each day, I pray that I'm given more strength to become more humble, more compassionate and more full of wisdom. I will try to be a little quicker to listen and slower to speak and take in all that others can offer me on this all too short journey that I've been given.

An Award And A Milestone

Some sweet little lady named Erin gave me my first official blog award yesterday. Yeh, they don't call her sweet for nothing. ;)

What kinda award?



The "Beautiful Blogger Award"

So it's a pretty special day around Victoria-ville.

Not only did I receive such a sweet little award from one of my most loved friends, it is also my 100th post today!

Crazy.

Actually maybe it's not.

I started this blog back in September of 2007 and I obviously am not a frequent blogger since I'm just making it to my 100th post.

But that's with good reason. I only tend to blog about things that really sit on my mind. Sometimes they're something ridiculous and sometimes they're something that has helped me learn more about myself and others around me.

Either way, I've loved being a part of my small blogging community over the last 2 1/2 years.

Back to my "Beautiful Blogger Award".....as with anything is comes with stipulations ;)

I've been told to tell you seven things about me and then pass the award along to seven other beautiful ladies, so I'll do as it says...

I can't promise these seven things will be interesting.

1) I too have very vivid dreams like Erin. I always have. I swear that if you woke me up every hour during my sleep I could tell you about something absolutely out of this world that I was dreaming about. Such as, saving the world in George Jetson's space car with the guy that sings 'Funky Cold Medina' ... I forget his name. Yeh, my dreams rarely make much sense. But I'm highly convinced that they are the reason why I require lots of sleep. I really think that some nights my dreams honestly just wear me out.

2) I count the steps up to my apartment everyday. Why? I have no clue. I just know that there are 19 steps on your way to the 2nd floor and 20 on your way to the 3rd floor. I wonder how much it would mess up my daily routine if someone decided to add an extra step. Or better yet, I wish they would. I'd be much happier if there were 20 steps on both sets, I really like even numbers.

3) I love milk. And not that skim milk crap. It's such a wanna be. I love WHOLE ORGANIC MILK! (I haven't drank non-organic milk in years with good reason, but that's a whole post in and of itself.) I would probably drink milk with every meal if I could but it's pretty fattening so I limit myself to one big glass at night. Yep, I drink my big glass of milk....get sleepy... and rest like a champ. That makes me sound a little bit like a newborn.. Hmm..

4) There's a silly game I've been playing since before I could drive. I think it probably started as something to pass the time in the car.....and at least a decade later I still play it. It's nothing special but here goes... I'll be driving along and I look at the cars in the oncoming traffic that are farthest away and try to figure out what make and model they are before they get close enough to where I can actually tell what kind they are. The further away I can make the description the better. I'd like to say that you get points or a piece of candy or perhaps even a good ole pat on the back for playing this game but it's normally just a very ecstatic, "YES!" that I shout in my head as I see the correctly named vehicle speed on by. Yes....that's the lamest game ever but habits are hard to break. lol

5) I don't like to sleep with my feet out of the covers at night. I have a fear that somethings going to jump up and bite them. (I probably got that theory from one of those crazy dreams that I have where I save the world with sub par '80's rappers.)

6) I once sat in the front yard of our townhouse in College Station with my roommate/bestie Mitzi in our dollar store purchased super small kiddie whale pool. We watched as people drove by and looked at us like we were nuts while the whale squirted us with water from his blow hole. That may have been the best $10 we ever spent.

7) I tend to be clumsy and bang myself into all sorts of things like kitchen counters, tables and chairs. EVERYTIME I do this (about once a week) I tell myself repeatedly in my head, "Remember this! You WILL get a bruise and this is what it's from!" I repeat this statement a few times and then go about my day. When the bruise appears....I NEVER remember how I got it. How frustrating. And such a waste of energy to even tell myself to remember something I know I'm gonna forget.

So, those are the seven things about me. I'm not sure if they're seven interesting things about me, but they are indeed true and that's about all that matters I guess.

Thank you Erin for sending me this sweet award. (Don't forget to check out Erin's blog, she's awfully entertaining.)

Now I must pass it on.

Don't forget to check out these 'beautiful bloggers'.

These ladies are gorgeous through and through.

Princess Mitzi
Ms. Ash
Heather, since ITB!
The Lovely Katie
The Gandy's
My Lovely Jenanabelle
Fun Bobby

Back to this being my 100th post....

In honor of this little blogging milestone I will be posting flashback posts this week.

They will be some of my favorite posts. Some of which are funny. Some of which were enlightening. All a part of me.

Thanks for coming around to my little corner of the world and taking an interest in my little life.

Really?!

Before I tell you this story let me preface this by saying I'm always emotional but this....well, this is just ridiculous.

So about a week ago I was driving to work.

Just listening to the radio.

A Miley Cyrus song came on. (I'm not really even a fan of Miley.)

Anyway, driving along listening to Miley Cyrus and then it happened.

I burst into tears as I listened to the lyrics of her song.

Yeah, you're probably thinking, "Aww, The Climb. I can see how that can be so sad."

Nope.

I was indeed weeping while listening to Party In The USA!!!

I know you're thinking really? What? How?

Well, as I was listening I started thinking how sad it must be that Miley had to "hop off the plane at LAX" not knowing anyone. She had to have felt so alone. I mean everyone was "wearing stilletos" and she "didn't get the memo".

Yes, those were actual thoughts running through my overly emotional mind.

I was absolutely distaught that poor Miley Cyrus had to leave Nashville and go to Los Angeles not knowing a soul. I thought about how hard that must be.

Really! This was going on in my head.

What would cause me to have a reation like this to a song that has lyrics that say "the dj played my favorite song and a Britney song was on" or "Noding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah" and lastly, it says "There's a party in the USA!" ??????

P.M.S.

Girls, this has to be one of the craziest crying episodes to ever happen.

If you have something that will top this, please, be my guest I'd love to hear it.

Until then, I'm going to believe that P.M.S. makes only me a Miley Cyrus crying crazy person.

I Hope I'm Not Forgetting Anything...

Because I'm jumping up and down with joy!!!!!

I have nothing to do and nowhere to go this weekend and no one is coming to visit!

I have a list longer than Santa's naughty or nice list of things to do around the house that's gotten out of control.

I have not had the time to tackle much lately.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed every weekend the past 3 months or so. And that's how long it's been since I haven't had weekend plans. But dear Lord, I just need sometime to do things around the house that make me happy.

You know stuff like this, along with a little painting, organizing and making all kinds of of fun stuff!

Oh I just can't wait!

Please Friday, hurry up and show your pretty little face so I can enjoy a relaxing productive weekend with no one but me. :)

Umm 25 Random Things (Facebook Inspired)

Everywhere I turn in cyberworld I see this 25 random things 'thing' and I feel that I must conform... so... here are some randoms about myself.

1) I talk to my Momma and Daddy everyday. Usually, more than once a day. I just can't make it without those two looney's.

2) I value anytime that I get with my Mimi :)

3) I drink a DanActive every morning to keep my immune system up.

4) I have a 'blankie' lol. Yep, I'm almost 23 yrs. old and I have to have it at night or it's hard to sleep.

5) I don't like touching the lettuce in the produce aisle (Mitzi knows).

6) When I wake up every morning I watch the 6'0 clock news and then the Today show. I've become quite addicted to the news. I check it on my Blackberry all throughout the day.

7) I can cry VERY easily. I let a lot touch my heart and I'm not ashamed.

8) With that said, I can be a hard ass. Both of which I get from my Daddy.

9) I'm learning to lighten up.

10) I'm ready to have my own house, my own garden and have on a big floppy hat on while I'm outside tending it.

11) I drink a cup of tea while I watch Sex & the City at night.

12) I'm terrible at turbo-kickboxing.

13) I adore my kiddos at work. They help make my life wonderful.

14) I have two weaknesses. Starbucks. Mini-chocolate bars.

15) I sometimes break out in Pilate's randomly on my living room floor.

16) I love free-hand drawing but rarely get the time to do it.

17) I love my planner and how it looks like a mess at the end of each week, it means my life isn't.

18) I'm a sucker for a fountain cherry coke.

19) I REALLY so so badly want to become more charitable with my money and time.

20) I believe in soul mates but I believe it's rare that people find them, which makes it all the more perfect if you do.

21) I have two besties. One of which is just like me. The other, completely opposite.

22) I pop my toes a lot.

23) A perfect Sunday for me is sitting at home with the windows opened, listening to old country loud and cleaning and dancing.

24) I love editing photos and so badly want to better my knowledge of photography.

25) I won't date/marry a man my parents don't like.