Saturday, May 10, 2008

Weirdness? OCD? Who Knows?!

I'm not sure if what I'm about to describe is OCD or just plain weirdness. I call it OCD and have decided it's common. I have decided that everyone has some form of obsessive compulsive disorder/weirdness so why should I be any different?

I was out with the girls the other night in Uptown and the topic came up.

Everyone had something that fit into the "OCD" category. It's funny, after they tell you what it is, you notice them doing it all the time.

So you might be wondering, what are my OCD tendencies?

Well, on the top of the list might be sidewalks and any sewage contraption on the street. I hate them. And breaking a heel is the least of my problems.

I truly think that I might fall down into the sewage be carried down stream into nastiness and never be found again unless it's by disgusting vermin or the homeless. It also really scares me because I have this hear that I'm going to get caught as I'm falling down and break my leg into two pieces.

I really and truly cannot remember the last time I stepped on anything that might cause me to fall through a hole on the sidewalk... it's been years.

Sidewalks and I have an odd relationship. I also have a hard time stepping on the cracks. Someone really drilled that "Step on a crack and you'll break your momma's back!" thing into my head hardcore as a kid and I swear I took it to heart. This is something I'm not as OCD about though... it's hard to be when cracks are all over the place. I never step on them when I'm running in the park though. I actually think this is a blessing, it makes my stride much longer.

Clothes. Ugh. Clothes and I have a very odd relationship as well. And we have from a very very young age.

One word. SOCKS. I hate them. I've wanted them to be banished from earth since I was born and yet they're clearly still a part of people's/my life!

Before school when I was little I fought with socks every single morning.

Here is the problem. My toes must ALWAYS be moving! Socks, will not allow movement. In fact, they are made to do completely the opposite, they were made to confine toes. Who thought up this rubbish?! Toes are made to be free! They're made to roam about and wiggle around.

So yeah, socks.... socks and they're stupid seam at the toe completely made each morning as a child a living hell for me and my mother. We spent more time on finding the perfect "pair" of socks each morning than we did on anything else. Just because two socks came as a "pair" in a pack did not mean they were a "pair" for my feet. It was perfectly normal for me to be ok with one sock from the "pair" and hate it's mate. So we'd spend mornings looking for the sock's long lost mate that it had never even met. Each morning was spent with many many tears, screaming (mostly at socks) but sometimes at mom for not understanding the terror that I was going through. However, the morning always ended in finding a "pair" of socks that I could live with, but never a pair that was perfect.

I got dropped off at school at 8:00 and by 8:10 I already regretted my sock decision and wanted to scream. Yes, I was a weird child. I still have a hard time with socks although I have cut out the crying and screaming, the process is still quite the same.

Hangers. I think I might go crazy if all the hangers in my closet are not all plastic and white. And I think I'd have a complete meltdown if they weren't all facing the same way. All clothes must face the same way too. I can pick out a wrong hanger from a mile away. So please don't show me your closet of cleaner hangers, that would be cruel.

Grocery check out. I CANNOT just throw my grocery items on the counter in no particular order. I feel that groceries must be neatly placed on the conveyor belt in their own specific category. Most grocery items are placed into these groups: bread, eggs, fruits and veggies, cold stuff (dairy and frozen food), cold stuff (meats), can goods, dry goods (i.e. cereal, pasta) and then toiletries.

I take extra time to sort this out and make sure they are all in the right category. Why you ask? Because.... I'd throw a fit if I got home and the bread was crushed by a zucchini or the lettuce had chicken grossness all over it. These are things you have to think about because you can't count on a good bag boy these days. Plus, it just looks all neat and tidy on the counter :)

Alright, I hesitate to share anymore of my weirdness with you. In fact, I believe I have shared too much. I'm weird. I'm quirky. I'm different. I'm me.... in the best way possible. Deal with it or I'll push you down a sewage hole! :P

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